I've been blindsided by a personal crisis this month that has left me devastated and forced to recreate my whole existence and way of thinking.
After 16 years my husband has decided he no longer wants to be married.
I will be losing the love of my life, the home of my heart and the garden of my joy, and starting over from scratch.
The past two weeks have been an emotional storm like no other I have ever endured. I have ranted and raved, cried and pleaded and lost all abilities to make rational decisions.
I realized I was fighting a losing battle with my emotions and accepted help from the medical field and the wonderful world of anti-depressants. They have helped. I can actually work now and that is a big deal since I will be totally responsible for taking care of myself now.
It's scary & I'm terrified! It won't be easy but I know I will make it. A co-worker told me yesterday:"You're and artist, recreate your life the way you want it to be...paint yourself a mental picture and strive to make it your reality!"
I like the sound of that. Hopefully I can live up to that!
Ok... I've made the first step to recovery. I called my EAP hotline and got a referral for a counselor and left a message for them to call me with an appointment. It will probably be Monday before they call me back but I'm ready.
ReplyDeleteCarol - You are a wonderfully brave woman. Take care of yourself. Thank you for following my blog. Enjoy the randomness. I hope it gives you some daily laughs.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you!