My Sacred Energy

Too often we are scared, scared of what we might not be able to do, scared of what people might think if we tried, we let our fears stand in the way of our hopes. Why? There's really no time to be afraid. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Everything!” ~ unknown

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Nature Walks and Packing

This is one of my favorite local places to get back to nature. It's a State forest and only a few mile from my home. These pictures were taken two weeks ago right before the deer season started and it was still safe to walk in the woods with a camera. Now that it's deer season I have to be content with walks in the little woods behind my house and the creek bed on a nearby farm that doesn't allow hunters. I may drive a few extra miles this week to a State Park for a different view. 

In the meantime the packing continues. I can't believe all of the "THINGS" I've accumulated in the 8 years we have lived in this house! I'll be making another drive to Goodwill today with another sizable donation.  It feels good to "cleanse"  myself  from so many useless "THINGS"  that have cluttered up my life.  What a pack rat  I have become. 

I'm also considering trying my hand at making some simple furniture for my new home.  I have this really cool old wood window that I picked up at a yard sale 6 years ago and I want to make a display case for my paper mache art collection. We'll see just how handy I really am :)

Life is starting to look good again. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Packing Time

Today I started packing. I thought it would be hard..but it's not. I'm not moving out for a few months but I don't want to wait until the last minute. This also gives me time to sort and throw out and donate.  A cleansing of sorts.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Caught off Guard again

Last night he came home with divorce papers to go over.  I wasn't expecting it so soon and it really threw me for a loop. Just when I thought I was starting to get a handle on everything something else throws me off balance again.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Settlement Meeting

Today we have a meeting to try to come to some conclusion on who gets what and who will pay for what. This will be hard. I love this house and my gardens but there is no way that I will be able to afford it so we either sell it or he buys me out. With the house market the way it is right now I might as well let him buy me out at least that way I can get my money and go on with life.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

From out of No Where

I've been blindsided by a personal crisis this month that has left me devastated  and forced to recreate my whole existence and way of thinking. 
After 16 years my husband has decided he no longer wants to be married. 
I will be losing the love of my life, the home of my heart and the garden of my  joy, and starting over from scratch. 
The past two weeks have been an emotional storm like no other I have ever endured. I have ranted and raved, cried and pleaded and lost all abilities to make rational decisions. 
I realized I was fighting a losing battle with my emotions and accepted help from the medical field and the wonderful world of anti-depressants.  They have helped. I can actually work now and that is a big deal since I will be totally responsible for taking care of myself now. 
It's scary & I'm terrified! It won't be easy but I know I will make it. A co-worker told me yesterday:"You're and artist, recreate your life the way you want it to be...paint yourself  a mental picture and strive to make it your reality!" 
I like the sound of that. Hopefully I can live up to that!